Want to kill a relationship? Of course you don’t, so don’t serve these 2 poisons to others.
Poison 1 is Control
There are 2 types of control.
One is great for relationships. The other will poison it.
The good type of control is self control. You have liberty to control yourself all the time. We need it for relationships. It will take Holy Spirit, but you can do it with his help.
Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
The bad type of control is controlling others (or at least trying). It always causes destruction and is not our job!
Galatians 5:19-21a (TPT) The cravings of the self-life are obvious: Sexual immorality, lustful thoughts, pornography, chasing after things instead of God, manipulating others, hatred of those who get in your way, senseless arguments, resentment when others are favored, temper tantrums, angry quarrels, only thinking of yourself, being in love with your own opinions, being envious of the blessings of others, murder, uncontrolled addictions, wild parties, and all other similar behavior.
Control Yourself Not Others
When we try to control others, it causes destruction to the relationship. This includes making the other person do what we want, insisting they believe the way we do, controlling what they do, who they see, or where they go.
We usually control others for 1 of 2 reasons:
1. Fear You control circumstances and people because of fear of something happening you don’t know how to deal with or go through. This fear is real, but this is not the way to deal with it. When you control others (or try) you will lose the relationship emotionally, if not physically. Fear is a spirit that you can only conquer by walking with another spirit, Holy Spirit.
2. Power You control circumstances and people you need to advance your agenda. It is all about your goals, and people are tools to get you there. People are not to advance your kingdom. It is selfishness. Admit your behavior, repent, and stop it.
Poison 2 is Criticism
No one likes to be around somebody who criticizes them. Do I need to say more?