Want a way to immediately improve your relationship with someone?
Care more about the relationship than being right.
Too many times in my marriage I have had to be right. My identity and self-worth was too fragile to be wrong.
To make things worse, as I look back over the arguments I have had with my wife, most of them were over small or even stupid things. I can’t even remember what most of the arguments were about, that is how important they were.
I am trying to learn to take the ‘long’ perspective on things. Will this thing that matters so much to me be important this time next year? If so, then maybe it needs to be talked through with my spouse in a deliberative manner, but if not, drop it and move on for the sake of relationship. I’m amazed at how many times I thought I was right. I had to be right. I had to show her I was right. In hindsight, most of what I was arguing about was not worth the relationship price I was paying.
Most arguments are resolved when both people are more concerned with preserving the relationship than with being right.
To do this we must go to the Lord and deal with our need to be right. Ask Him why are we this way. Ask Him to deal with the root cause of why we can’t handle being wrong or have to have our way. This process is painful and deep, but it will produce a person of peace and true confidence because we will realize our value is being a Son of God and not in being right.
As you walk this journey you will experience one of the most liberating freedoms ever – the freedom from having to be right.
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