It felt like the cry of a million people coming down on me all at once. It was more pain and sorrow than I thought I could bear. I just wanted to curl up in a corner and go into a coma.
“Is this what you felt 2000 years ago,” I said to myself hoping my prayer was reaching heaven. I knew that I was being prompted by the Holy Spirit to ask the question I hadn’t even considered 30 seconds before.
“Close enough,” I felt was the response from Jesus.
The words of the vulgar, anti-Christian, anti-church rock band Green Day were playing in my ears. As I was in a public place I heard the words to Boulevard of Broken Dreams for the first time coming over a speaker from somewhere and they were deeply haunting me.
“Lord, why is this song affecting my spirit? What are you doing? Is this what you are feeling?” I asked with great sadness.
“As I hung on the cross 2000 years ago I paid for the ravages of sin that man brought on himself.”
“I also died to answer the cries of people that the band members of Green Day sung about. I heard what this song was singing about from a people who had already died, from the people who were watching me die that day, and from a future people who hadn’t even come alive yet.”
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I’m the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a…
My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I’m walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
“I died so that men would never have to walk alone again.”
Tears filled my eyes as I realized that Jesus heard this actual song before I did 2000 years ago. He was even feeling the heart of the song writer before he wrote it.
An extremely small piece of the sorrow that Jesus felt over mankind’s broken dreams that spanned the centuries – His dreams in us – has never left me. The consequences of man’s sin has put an indelible stain on my heart.
I have come to love the man Jesus who not only died for sin but to restore the broken dreams. No, I don’t just love this man, I deeply adore Him.
“Son, I need someone to walk along side them in the physical.”
The second part to this question was never asked, but it hung in my spirit.
It is still hanging.
“Will you do it?”
“Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me”… I pray God gives me His eyes to see and his ears to hear their cries and when Abba prompts me and I know when their hearts are ready for me to find them… to walk beside them… to love them… because I used to be the one who said these same words… thanks Craig
Reminds me of a quote by Andrew Miller: “I’ve faced my own darkness and I’m not afraid of yours.”