I imagine that 99.99% of wedding ceremonies in America use the following wedding vows or a close semblance of them. Let’s say the man is John and the woman getting married is Jane, then the wedding vows sound like this:
Do you John take Jane to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part?
Were your wedding vows similar to this? They are almost universally used in the Western world in secular and spiritual weddings. Today I propose these words never be used again. They are too nice. They are too King James Version sounding. They are more a pretty decoration for the sake of the ceremony than they are practical. Very few people pay attention to them on the day of the wedding let alone years into the marriage. They have become powerless.
What has got me on this subject today? Well, now that you have asked I guess I am obligated to tell you.
I heard last week on the Focus on the Family radio show that 1 out of 5 Christian Men – 21% – have had an affair. Shocking isn’t it, but actually I knew this number, or something similar to it. This didn’t surprise me, what shocked me is that 1 out of 5 Christian Men have had an affair in the last year! That means that in the average church that 1 out of every 5 men I meet on Sunday morning has had an affair in the last 12 months. Statistically, that means a whole lot of those 21% of men are having an affair right now! The other statistic was that 16% of Christian women have had an affair in the last year.
This statistic is simply unfathomable to me. I can’t understand the level of sin, deception, and lying that is going on. There is no difference in marital fidelity between men who call themselves Christians and men who don’t!. On this same radio program the counselors said that one of the number one excuses for the infidelity was that the person committing adultery said they had married the wrong person and God finally led them to their soul mate.
So there you go, our sin being justified with the God led me lie. I want to warn you before you continue in this blog that I am taking the gloves off. This is not a politically correct blog. So stop now if you are easily offended.
Let’s be blunt, God had nothing to do with us becoming liars let alone adulterers so don’t try to make it right by bringing Him into the picture. Nobody is fooled not even you if you were honest.
Liars? Yes, men and women who take the pretty sounding vow above and then have affairs are liars. When we get with another woman or man we are not being led by God but our hormones and in the process we break our promise and become liars. It’s as simple as that. Your spouse may be a jerk or a witch but you made a promise and now you are breaking it. I wonder if anyone thinks when he or she commits adultery about the wedding vows they said at their marriage? That is why I am now proposing a new set of wedding vows, a set of vows that use modern language to make our covenant clearer and to the point. What do you think of these vows at the next wedding ceremony?
John, do you today swear by your word the following to your girlfriend Jane, to never have sex with anybody else for the rest of your life, that if she becomes paralyzed from an auto accident that you will still never sleep with anyone else, that if she can’t remember your name anymore because she has Alzheimer’s disease it does not give you justification to satisfy your manly needs with someone else, that if the two of you become bankrupt and get kicked out of your house it does not mean she is the wrong woman for you but it is your problem. John, if your wife gets a terminal disease and is bed ridden and she can’t get out of the bed, will you change her diapers, stand beside her, and do your best to make her journey bearable. John, do you promise these things to Jane today or forever be known as a liar and as a man who puts his convenience before honoring his word?
Hmmm… Not poetic and pretty sounding. These words will probably clash with the tuxedos, white dress, and flowers being held by Jane. The mother of the Bride may go into shock but it will be less of a shock than years down the road when she gets a call from her little girl that she found the man she is standing beside now at the altar in their bed with another woman. Maybe a vow like above will mean something and those that will not honor their word will never say them to begin with.