Note: This is a long article. But I felt it was worth it for the insight that is gained about you as a son of the Father. Take your time in reading it. My suggestion is to only read a paragraph or two at a time to let the truths move from your head to your heart. Think of this article more as a devotional than a fact finding article.

Not every Christian thinks like a son. But the Bible calls us sons of God. “…but you received the Spirit of sonship” Romans 8:15. We often think like a disciple, servant, or even a friend. But thinking like a son is different. A son is a disciple. A son is a servant. A son is a friend. But not always the opposite. A son realizes he is a part of a family.

We often act like orphans and not sons.

Ever since Adam and Eve were alienated from God the Father in the Garden of Eden, we have had a hard time relating to God as a good father. We often act like orphans and not sons. This has caused untold damage. By “orphan,” I am referring to a sense of abandonment, loneliness, alienation, and isolation. We want to break this orphan spirit and be filled with a sense of the Father’s love for us. This will enable us to become mature sons who serve God out of knowledge of His undeserved grace. It will keep us from trying to earn the Father’s love through performance.

Son’s overcome an orphan mentality.

Despite what God has made available to us, lots of people live with a slave and not a son’s identity. Their mindset, choices, and lifestyle reflect that of settling for less than what they were designed for. “So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.” Galatians 4:7 In this verse the word slave is used. We can often substitute the word slave for orphan. They think alike. Sons have mindsets that help them overcome. We cannot experience breakthrough while thinking like an orphan. Those who live in sonship possess a confidence and overcoming lifestyle that helps them break through the mediocre mold that the masses of spiritual orphans have. Ask Father to show you where you can overcome that you don’t think you can.

Sons Are confident. Orphans are insecure.

When you walk into a room of people, do you wonder what they think of you? When you are around others, do you compare your value to theirs? Insecurity is a terrible way to live. Insecure people have a hard time connecting to their spouses, their children, those in spiritual authority and their supervisors, and they have a hard time accepting and loving themselves. Ask Father to show you where you live for others and not from what he thinks about you.

This keeps you from being used by God because you are so self-conscious. Sons have learned to be confident in who they are. Sons know who they are and don’t have to prove it. Thank Him for how he made you. He loves your personality, quirkiness, etc. Ask Father to show you where you live for others and not from what He thinks about you.

Sons have learned to rest in who God made them to be.

Sons have learned to be themselves. Orphans do not know who they are, so they often attempt to be like someone else. They’re hung up on comparison and getting wrapped up in what others think. Orphans spend most of their energy hiding their insecurities, rather than simply resting in God’s identity for them and walking effectively in it. Ask God to break over you all intimidation from others you put on yourself. Ask God to show you where you live for others. Thank Him for making you the way you are.

Do you have a hard time loving and accepting yourself? 

You will never feel love and acceptance by what you do. It will constantly drive you. Your acceptance is through a relationship with the Father and not your works for him. The orphan receives its identity through material possessions, physical appearance, and activities. The son is grounded in the Father’s affirmation. Those who walk in sonship understand and experience the unconditional love of the Father. Ask Father to help you grasp this unconditional love and experience it.

Do you feel you have God’s approval? 

An orphan would say no. An orphan is always striving for the praise, approval, and acceptance of God, but never feels like they get it. A son says yes. A son feels total acceptance from God with no condemnation. So how do we get there? Not by feelings, but by repeating the facts repeatedly. Repeat after me. “The devil is a liar. My mind is a liar. My feelings are lying. I am a loved and accepted son of God no matter what the devil, my mind, or feelings are saying”. Repeat this phrase as many times in a day till your thoughts and feelings are changed!

You are not on a performance standard. 

You do nothing for his approval. He approved of you when Jesus died on the cross. It is by His choice and goodness alone. You are a son or daughter by faith. Faith is based on His facts. It doesn’t matter if we understand it or feel it. Sometimes you will and often you won’t. That’s ok. Your standing is based on His standing with you and nothing else.

Sons know they are accepted. Orphans are jealous. 

Do you have a hard time hearing others praised? Do you try to outdo others? Are you secretly happy when someone fails? If so, don’t feel condemned, but go to our Father and ask, “Why do I think you love others more? What is in me to make me think you don’t love me as much as others? Why do I think you are not treating me fairly?” 

Go to Father and ask him to help you celebrate others’ success. Ask him for help to focus on what God is doing for you. ‘Dig deep’ with Holy Spirit to get victory over jealousy.

Sons are relaxed. Orphans are driven. 

Do you feel better about yourself when you accomplish great things? Do you attempt to accomplish great things to satisfy the deep yearning in your heart for your father’s approval. This results in you being driven to succeed instead of being led by the Spirit. No matter what you accomplish it never fills the need for long. You have a place in God. That place is enough. A son is secure in the Father’s love, independent of what you do. Thank the Father now for your place and that he loves you no matter how big or small you think your assignment is. Relax. He is not a task master.

Do you promote yourself or let God? 

A son knows the Father wants to promote them and will do it at the right time. Sons will allow the Lord to bring opportunities without trying to create their own success. Don’t fight for attention, promotion, or success. You don’t want promotion or opportunities if you created them. Ask Father to show you when you fight for yourself to be noticed instead of relaxing in the Father’s love.

Sons trust God for promotion. Orphans self promote.

Do you self promote? We all do some. Why? Sons know Father will always take care of them, position them, and promote them when he wants to. Otherwise, our relationship with him is enough. Do we have a need for the first word? Or the last word? Was there an awards ceremony, and they did not mention your name? Get alone with God, and acknowledge the issue to be noticed. Ask him to be so close to you that no other earthly thing will ever tempt you to get your identity apart from him.

Sons carry an unshakable hope about the future. 

“We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28, MEV). Sonship is formed in how we handle discouragement. The most impressive quality of a son is the ability to look hardship square in the face, weep, grieve, but not be taken out by it. Orphans carry a doom and gloom lens to everything. Disappointing events have a domino effect on their life. One event trickles into feeling like their whole life is failing. Sons have a ‘big God’ mindset. Orphans serve a very little God and their choices show it. Sons reveal their big-God mindset in their thinking, speaking and decisions. Circumstances or resources does not limit them. They find a way to break through with the Father.

Sons rest in the Father’s ability to guide the future. 

Orphans have anger and fits of rage when things don’t go our way. This is a sign that you are trying to control your outcome instead of resting in what the Father wants. When you get angry, analyze the root cause. Instead of frustration, step back and ask, Ask Father what is going on here? Ask Him to help you change your expectations and learn to wait on you. As an exercise, tell him you trust in him that your future is in his hands.” Easier said than done. But you can become a person of rest, with no stress and no anger.

Sons are not limited or condemned by their weaknesses. 

Romans 8:26 says, “Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses, for we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words”. I am refreshed when I meet a son-minded person who is not hung up on his or her weaknesses. They are honest about them and gain help from others who are strong in those areas. They don’t carry a shame about their mistakes or flaws. They love themselves enough to rejoice over their strengths and live kindly regarding their weaknesses. Sons grow stronger in weakness, but orphans just despise their weak areas and do everything possible to cover them up. When you feel weak, relax, ask Holy Spirit to make up the difference! It will be ok.

Sons appreciate discipline. Orphans resent correction. 

Hebrews 12:6-7 says, “because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?” Not every pressure is from the enemy. God brings pressure to train you into your skill, grow your character, and bring purity. You need this to be the bride of Christ. How well do you handle correction from others? This is probably the same way you handle correction from Father. Embrace discipline, pressure, and teaching. He is transforming you into the person you won’t believe in a few years.

God desires relationship and loves family.

He is always looking for someone who he can pour his love over. Connect with God out of friendship, not on a need basis. You were born for relationships. Relate to him as a person – not glory, cloud, gift giver, etc. Tell Father that you want to know him as a person, as a son does his father on earth.

The greatest way you know you live in sonship is in your ability to receive and live in the love of God. Sons do not have to work up their love relationship; they have learned to receive and rest in that love. How do I do this? By getting in his presence. Don’t get yourself right first, then seek him. Don’t just ask him to come down, but picture yourself going up to him. Tell Father you love him and want to be in a relationship with him. Ask Him to help you seek after him and not stand outside looking in. Picture yourself walking and talking and resting in his presence.

Sons get comfort from Lord’s presence. Orphans get comfort by hiding their pain through something physical. 

When you are alone, alienated, or depressed, do you do physical things to get comfort? This can take the form of constant work, going from one relationship to the next, or physical gratification like TV, alcohol, hobbies, drugs, opposite sex, internet browsing, phone clicking, etc. Those with an orphan spirit are constantly trying to push down their sense of alienation, loneliness and lack of self-worth through the physical. However, this will never fill the hole in your heart. Only the love of the Father can fill the deep emotional needs we have. Comfort comes from slowing down, stopping diversions, and entering His presence. It is learning to rest. It is learning He is a safe place. “Be still, and know that I am God;” Psalms 46:10

Sons feel love. Orphans feel fear. 

Why do you do what you do? Why do you go to church? Why do you pray? Why do you try to live for Him? Is it to get His favor? Is it to get His acceptance? Are you motivated by fear? Living this way is bondage. He will not reject you. He has always desired a relationship with you. When you accepted Jesus into your life, that provided a covering for you to come to him. He does not sit on his throne waiting for you to mess up. He sits on his throne, waiting for you to join him. Fear is the opposite of what he brings. Ask Father to show you every area you relate to him in fear and help you to understand how to relate to him.

Do you sometimes feel loved by God and sometimes you don’t? Often based on what you do? Do you have a “He loves me, He loves me not” kind of life?. When money is good and life seems to work, do you assume God loves you? But when tough times arrive, we wonder if God still loves us? How do we get rid of this thinking? Go into God’s presence, whether you feel like it or not. We need to believe that it is a relationship. God is not fickle. He has always loved you, and you can be in his presence because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We live this way by faith, not feelings. So jump into talking to him no matter how you feel. It will amaze you how he responds. He is a good father!

Don’t fear making a mistake. Relax and enjoy life. God is not a harsh taskmaster waiting to punish us the first chance He gets. Realize God is not after perfection. We live by rules because we are trying to be perfect. Rules imply perfection. Relationships don’t go after perfection, that is not the goal. Instead, it is about enjoying one another. Chill and relax with your Father!

Are you scared to go into God’s presence? 

An orphan says yes. They have not been in a stable relationship and are afraid that something will happen and they will be rejected. So they keep their distance from God. They don’t think they deserve to be there. A son loves to be close with the Father. God does not want you to live in fear of him. Would you want your kids to be fearful of you? You can go into his presence no matter how you feel. Matter of fact, ignore your feelings. Go to him by faith. Ask Father right now if you can come to him. He wants you to approach him, so do. Don’t talk yourself out of it!

The devil fears you spending time in God’s presence! 

The devil is the one who spreads the lies that God does not want you! Don’t believe it! A son goes to the Father by faith. He doesn’t know any better. He grew up with it. Pray for a release from fear if you need to. Romans 8:15-16 (NLT) says, ”So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God’s very own children, adopted into his family—calling him “Father, dear Father.” For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God’s children.”

A son has an inheritance that leads to ownership that leads to governing. 

A son knows he has an inheritance from his Father. He is written into the will. A son knows that inheritance leads to ownership! A son is about inheriting something from the father and doing it together with him.

As a son you are in joint ownership with the Father to govern over something. This is a process. Talking about the world, planning on something together with him, and working towards it together. It differs from a servant. A servant can carry out the wishes of the master without knowing what the total plan is. As a son, we get to plan it out together and have joint ownership! This is part of the high calling of God that he has for his sons!

Ask Father to make you a restful, confident, hopeful son who knows the acceptance of his love, looking towards the future, and walking in partnership with Him. It is not just for others, it is for you. It is his desire!